March 23 Blog

March 23 Blog
Shoveling Snow as Warm Up for Chemotherapy

Though I slept poorly in anticipation of the day ahead, I was awake for the start of a majestic spring blizzard. As the light of dawn emerged, the snow came in force. Dogs at my heels, shovel in hand, I readily stepped out to tackle this enormously heavy cover.

Past resentments of dealing with this task came to mind, and they melted. I felt joy at being strong enough to push, scoop, and toss the great weight of this late season snow. May I have the good fortune to shovel snow many seasons, countless times.

Two or three days each week, I get blood tests for 48 different items, ranging from white blood cell counts to liver function. My numbers make me look like a human body in severe distress, but I do not feel that way pre-chemo, and I am so grateful for the days in which I almost feel the way I did before my diagnosis.

This morning I revel at the beauty of the snow. It even smells lovely.

There is no preparing for the discomfort that chemotherapy delivers. It obliterates my state of well-being. Willfully showing up for something that nearly knocks me out sometimes reminds me of what a boxer must endure every time they get into the ring.
I consider myself far more fortunate than a boxer, however, as
my showing up has the purpose of allowing me to eventually regain wellness. Science tells me that my body can recover from chemotherapy, no matter how disturbing the lab reports. Everything is temporary.