I was blessed with an incredibly think head of hair, which has most recently postponed chemotherapy’s inevitable effect of total hair loss.
From the onset of chemotherapy, I have heard a litany of supportive comments regarding my future life without hair. Women insist that the scarves, the hats, and the wigs are so good these days, that I need not fear my imminent hair loss.
Bald men have told me that baldness is not bad, and have even assured me I’ll grow accustomed to it quickly. Some people have even reminded me of all the beautiful people sans cheveux: Yul Brenner, Sinead O’Conner, Bruce Willis, Michael Jordan and Demi Moore as GI Jane.
But to me, the scarves and hats advertised in the waiting room catalogs at my oncologist’s office shout, “the lady wearing this headwear has cancer!” That said, nothing shouts cancer louder than a fully bald head on a woman, and I want to make no such announcement to the world.
I did shave my little remaining hair when I returned from chemo today. It was easier than I thought. I was even told that I have a nicely shaped head. Instead of, “Hey, nice haircut,” I was told, “nice head.”
I do think that my hair was far more lovely that the seemingly ideal shape of my head. I mostly accept the way I look, even if i do not know what I should put on my head tomorrow.
As time goes on, chemotherapy has become less surreal.
This is a relief, since I have 5 more months of it!
Baldness, which will have an even longer duration, does not feel as bad as I had anticipated, and it must become the new normal.